Ethics is not merely a compliance add-on but constantly permeates our daily lives. Exploring the case of voice assistants, I show how they are not neutral tools but actively mediate the way people perceive themselves and others, and relate to the world. Being polite to Alexa or yelling at "her," does it matter? Who’s to blame when your kid starts barking orders at everyone? Why have the worries on algorithmic bias spiked? I show how tech design and use are co-shaped by their creations and suggest how one can assume responsibility for this while being a pragmatic optimist.